🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?